This Phantom's No Princess
by Rupert Brown
Summary: Scooby-Doo Meets the Cast of "Xena: Warrior Princess"! When Mystery Inc. gave the cast of "Xena" a ride to a local convention, little did they realize they'd end up having to solve a mystery! When a mysterious Phantom crashes the party, it's up to the sleuths to figure out who, or what, is behind the disturbance before the convention is called off. Written in screenplay format.
1. Cold Opening

COLD OPENING

FADE IN:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD-DAY

The Mystery Machine is driving down the road when they spot a car broken down along the side. The hood is open and steam is rising from the radiator

INT. MYSTERY MACHINE—DAY

We see the Mystery Inc. crew. DAPHNE, VELMA, and FRED are sitting in front, while SHAGGY and SCOOBY are in the back.

DAPHNE

Hey, look! There's someone broken down on the side of the road!

VELMA

Stop, Fred, and see if we can help.

The Mystery Machine pulls up along side the car and the gang gets out.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD-DAY

There are three people huddled under the hood, inspecting the engine. At the sound of the gang stopping, two heads pop up to see the visitors. We see that they are LUCY LAWLESS and RENEE O'CONNOR.

VELMA

Jinkies! It's those stars of the stage, screen, and television; Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor!

At that, the third person's head pops up. It's their co-star, TED RAIMI.

TED RAIMI

Don't forget me!

VELMA

And Ted Raimi!

FRED

What are you guys doing out here?

LUCY LAWLESS

We were on our way to a convention when we broke down. Ted here thought he could fix it.

Lucy jerks a thumb at Ted

FRED

Having any luck?

RENEE O'CONNOR

Yeah, all bad.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

TED

Hey! If I had the right parts, we'd be on our way right now. As it is—

(looks disgustedly at the car)

we're going nowhere.

He kicks the car, only to hurt his foot.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

DAPHNE

We'd be glad to give you a lift.

The gang all chorus in agreement.

LUCY

Thanks, kids. We appreciate it a lot.

Ted's back under the hood.

TED

(struggling with/over something)

Wait a second, I think I've got it…

Oil spurts out and hits him in the face.

TED

Or maybe not…

CUE LAUGH TRACK

FADE OUT:

END OF COLD OPENING


	2. Act I

ACT I

FADE IN:

INT. CONVENTION HALL-DAY

LUCY

Thanks again, kids, for your help.

VELMA

Don't mention it. It's our pleasure. Right gang?

Gang affirms in chorus.

RENEE

Since you're already here, why don't you hang around and enjoy the convention? Snacks are on us.

SHAGGY

(laughing)

Did somebody mention food?

Shaggy rubs stomach while Scooby licks his lips.

They all laugh at the duo, when a visibly perturbed HIRAM JORKINS comes up to Lucy.

HIRAM JORKINS

You're here! Thank goodness! I thought the Phantom had gotten you!

SHAGGY

Did you say Ph-Phantom?

Starts shaking, laughs nervously. Scooby "gulps" really big.

LUCY

Kids, this is Hiram Jorkins, he's the organizer of this convention. What's this about a phantom?

HIRAM

Like I said, when you didn't show up I thought for sure it'd gotten you!

RENEE

Hiram, slow down. What phantom?

Hiram wrings his hands, distressed.

HIRAM

The one that's been scarring off all the con goers!

Everyone looks around at the near empty convention center.

TED

Hmmm, it _is_ kind of quiet at that.

Shaggy holds up his hands before him and shakes his head adamantly.

SHAGGY

Don't say it! Do not say it!

FRED

Looks like we've got ourselves a mystery, gang!

SHAGGY

(deflated)

He said it.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

FRED

Tell us about this phantom, Mr. Jorkins.

HIRAM

Well, it all started yesterday…

CUE FLASHBACK EFFECT

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—DAY—YESTERDAY

The convention center is packed with fun going fanboys and fangirls. We see Hiram at a podium, welcoming the crowds.

HIRAM

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual Xena/Hercules Convention! We've got a lot of good things lined up for—

Hiram is interrupted by an insane laughter that fills the convention hall. It's THE PHANTOM!

THE PHANTOM

You would honor those that have wronged me? Those who have made me what I am? Then you _too_ shall suffer!

More insane laughing followed by the appearance of the The Phantom in mid air above the stage. Wicked & evil looking, it is luminescent, but dressed like a warlord extra from the show "Xena: Warrior Princess".

The Phantom makes a pass at the crowd below, which sends everyone scattering and screaming.

END OF FLASHBACK SCENE

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—DAY—CURRENT DAY

VELMA

Was that all it said, Mr. Jorkins?

SHAGGY

(laughing nervously)

Like, isn't that enough?

Scooby whines in fear.

LUCY

Those who have wronged him? He was talking about _us_?!

She indicates herself, Ted, and Renee in shocked disbelief.

RENEE

Who'd we ever wrong?

TED

Well, there was that time in Vegas…

He's cut off by an elbow to the stomach from Renee.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

HIRAM

I don't know. But since he's shown up, the fans have stayed away. And when you didn't show up…

VELMA

You thought that the Phantom had taken them.

HIRAM

Exactly. I'm glad to see I was wrong, but I'm afraid that it's too late anyway.

DAPHNE

What do you mean?

HIRAM

I mean, if the fans don't come, then I can't make back the money it cost to get the convention together. I'll be ruined!

FRED

Don't worry, Mr. Jorkins. We're on the case.

LUCY

And we'll help in any way we can too.

HIRAM

That's great! Great! I can't tell you how much I would appreciate it; I'm really at my wits end!

SHAGGY

(to Scooby)

He's not the only one.

Scooby whines an affirmative.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

FRED

Alright, gang, it's time to look for some clues. Mr. Raimi, you Shag and Scooby cover the maintenance access areas. Velma, you Daphne and Ms. Lawless work the convention floor.

LUCY

Right!

FRED

Me and Ms. O'Connor will see what we can find backstage.

The group breaks up into smaller segments, Hiram going with Lucy's.

CUT TO:

INT. MAINTENANCE TUNNEL-DAY

Shaggy, Scooby, and Ted are creeping along a maintenance tunnel with various doors leading off from it.

TED

So, you guys do this often?

SHAGGY

(laughing nervously)

More than we'd like, eh, Scoob?

SCOOBY

Uh huh!

Scooby proceeds to whine.

TED

(false bravado)

There's nothing down here to be afraid of, guys. And even if there was, there are three of us.

SHAGGY

(relaxing)

That's true. Yeah, I guess you're right. There's safety in numbers.

TED

(looking away)

Yep, one lone phantom is no match for two grown men and a dog.

Shaggy & Scooby stop stock-still before starting to shake violently—they see The Phantom.

SHAGGY

Make that one grown man and two chickens! Run, Scoob!

CUE LAUGH TRACK

TED

(confused)

Huh? What are you—

(sees The Phantom)

Yahhhhhh! Wait for me!

Ted does a skidding reversal and runs, while The Phantom _just_ misses its grab for him.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

CUT TO MUSICAL MONTAGE:

Typical "Scooby-Doo" chase scene ensues.

After a while of running, Scooby gets tripped up by a dolly; Ted & Shaggy plow into him and all three go racing down a hallway on the out of control dolly, yelling all the way.

They eventually come to a crashing halt, thanks to a janitorial closet's door. Disheveled and disarranged, they are sprawled out among the cleaning supplies. Ted has gotten a bucket stuck on his head; Shaggy is wearing a mop, etc.

END OF MONTAGE

BACK TO SCENE

SHAGGY

(groaning)

You okay, Scoob?

SCOOBY

(groaning)

Reah…

SHAGGY

Mr. Raimi?

Ted's muffled voice comes from underneath the bucket. Presently, he is able to pull it off with a "popping" sound.

TED

Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing important hurt. Just my pride.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

Shaggy notices something odd amongst the pile of janitorial debris.

SHAGGY

Hey, what's this?

He holds up object to get a better look.

TED

Looks like a Data Card. You know, the one's you use with a digital camera or projector.

SHAGGY

We better hold on to it then, it might be a clue. Come on, let's find the others.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—CONVENTION FLOOR—DAY

Hiram, Lucy, Daphne, and Velma are walking about the empty show floor.

DAPHNE

Sure is deserted in here…

HIRAM

It's that phantom. As long as he's around, nobody will come within a mile of this place. I'll be ruined!

Lucy takes him by the arm, calming him.

LUCY

It's okay, Hiram, everything will be all right. Come on kids, let's fan out.

DAPHNE

Hey! There's someone!

She points to a lone fan. Dressed in "Xena" T-Shirt, has "Xena" badge, glasses, etc. Typical "Fanboy".

LUCY

That's Herb, he comes to all these conventions. Rain or shine.

VELMA

Why isn't he afraid of The Phantom?

LUCY

Don't know, let's ask him and find out. Herb!

Lucy gestures to get his attention, waving him over.

HERB

Oh, hi, Ms. Lawless! I didn't know if you'd make it with all this phantom baloney going on. Glad _you_ didn't buy into it at least.

VELMA

You don't think the phantom's real?

HERB

(disgusted)

Heck no. It's probably just some PR stunt.

DAPHNE

But why would someone go through all the trouble to make the phantom just to scare _off_ customers?

HERB

Beats me. All I know is that I'm not going to miss out on a convention on account of some hokey phantom. Though I guess it isn't all bad. What with everyone scared to death, I'm getting a steal on bargains. I doubt I'll ever see stuff this cheap again. If you'll excuse me, I've got a lot more memorabilia to pick up. Nice seeing you again, Ms. Lawless.

LUCY

(grinning)

Nice seeing you, Herb.

VELMA

Hmmm…

LUCY

What are you thinking, Velma?

VELMA

Just that with everyone staying away because of the phantom, that the dealers are practically giving away their stuff…

DAPHNE

And Herb is getting deals of the lifetime off of it.

LUCY

You don't think Herb rigged this phantom business just so he could get a truckload of merchandise on the cheap?

VELMA

I don't know, Ms. Lawless. But what I do know is that everyone's a suspect, and Herb _is_ one of the few people not afraid of the Phantom.

LUCY

Come on, let's look around some more.

RESET TO: An empty booth

Daphne sees something, picking it up.

DAPHNE

Hey! This is interesting.

Velma and Lucy come over.

VELMA

What is it?

DAPHNE

It looks like some sort of script, like for a TV show.

LUCY

(looking at script)

That's exactly what it is. That's the script for "Fins, Femmes, & Gems". We did that episode during Season 3 of my show. I remember it because of the major re-writes it went through.

DAPHNE

What kind of re-writes?

LUCY

Well, originally the writer, that was R.J. Stewart, had a totally different concept of how it should play out. I remember we fought for days about changes. Finally, the network saw it my way. He was always sore about it afterwards.

LUCY (CON'T)

(looking closer)

But wait… That's funny.

VELMA

What?

LUCY

All of my lines have been crossed out. It looks like someone took a pen and scratched out all of my parts.

VELMA

Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser. We'd better see what else we can find.

DAPHNE

Right.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—BACKSTAGE AREA-DAY

Fred & Renee are in the backstage area, lots of costumes on racks, background props, etc.

RENEE

So, what is it we're looking for anyway?

FRED

Anything that might be a clue.

Renee sees a box, and picks it up.

RENEE

This looks interesting…

Out pops a scary looking Jack-In-The-Box. This frightens Renee, who stumbles back and crashes into a clothes rack, falling to the floor with it in a heap. One hanger & item remain on the rack—it glows.

FRED

(concerned)

Are you okay?

RENEE

(chagrinned)

Yeah. Just stumbled into these clothes, like a goof.

As Fred helps her get to her feet, he notices the glowing item.

FRED

Hey, what's this? It looks like some kind of costume.

RENEE

But why's it glowing?

Fred fingers the material; some kind of paint comes off on his hands.

FRED

It's phosphorus paint, the kind they use in movies.

RENEE

Oh, hey! I recognize this costume! We have a bunch of them on set for extras and stuff. It's a standard 'Evil Warlord' outfit. But what's it doing here? And what's with the paint?

FRED

This could be a clue. We'd better find Velma and the others.

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—CONVENTION FLOOR—DAY

Mystery Inc. and the cast of "Xena" all meet up again.

FRED

How'd everyone make out?

SHAGGY

Like, we found that crazy Phantom!

TED

We also found this.

Ted hands over Data Card to Fred.

FRED

How about you girls?

DAPHNE

All we found was this mutilated script.

Daphne hands Script over to Fred.

VELMA

How about you guys? What do you have there?

Points to glowing Costume.

FRED

We found this backstage. Ms. O'Connor says it's a wardrobe prop from her show's set.

SHAGGY

Data cards, messed up scripts, glowing costumes, like, what does it all mean?

VELMA

At the very least it means our 'Phantom' is no phantom at all.

TED

So, if it's not a case of 'what', then 'who'?

FRED

That's what we aim to find out.

Hiram comes running up to the group, frantic.

HIRAM

It's him again!

LUCY

Who?

HIRAM

The Phantom! He's scaring off what few people are left!

FRED

(urgently)

Come on, gang! Let's go! Lead the way Mr. Jorkins.

Hiram and the gang take off running to the latest 'crime scene'. The gang arrives at the scene, only to find nothing there. A few sparse people are fleeing. Herb is calmly negotiating price with an anxious vender.

VELMA

Nothing here now. What exactly was The Phantom doing?

HIRAM

It appeared out of nowhere, and started waving its arms and moaning, 'I'll get you! I'll get you!'

SHAGGY

(gulping nervously)

Then 'I'll get' out of here!

Shaggy and Scooby make a break for it, only to be halted by their collars by Velma.

VELMA

Where do you two chickens think you're going?

SHAGGY

(laughing nervously)

Like, back to the farm!

Starts clucking and making chicken movements, Scooby does the same.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

VELMA

(amused)

Sillies! Go on, Mr. Jorkins.

HIRAM

Well, he just came at what was left of the crowd, and we split. That's when I came to get you.

During all this, something on the floor has caught Daphne's eye. She bends down and picks it up.

DAPHNE

Wow. Get a load of this.

SCOOBY

Rhat is it?

LUCY

It's my itinerary. Listing where I'll be, and what appearances I'm scheduled to make. But only a handful of people get these.

FRED

Then how'd our friendly phantom get his hands on one?

LUCY

I have no idea.

FRED

Alright, gang, whoever our phantom is, he's got a grudge against Ms. Lawless, so stay on your toes. Let's look around some more.

FRED (CON'T)

Mr. Raimi, you, Velma, and Ms. O'Connor check out the parking lot. Ms. Lawless, you, Shaggy, and Scooby try working the vendor's booths. Me and Daphne will try our luck backstage again.

All agreed, the teams split off, leaving Hiram to wring his hands.

FADE OUT:

END OF ACT I


	3. Act II

ACT II

FADE IN:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—VENDOR'S ROW—NIGHT

We see Shaggy, Scooby, and Lucy strolling along.

SHAGGY

Like, hey, here's something!

LUCY

Did you find a clue?

SHAGGY

Even better! An empty concession stand!

CUE LAUGH TRACK

SHAGGY

Come on, Scoob. All this investigating is making me hungry!

SCOOBY

Me roo!

Both jump behind a counter and start collecting food.

LUCY

This is no time to eat! We've got to look for clues!

SHAGGY

Like, you can't look for clues on an empty stomach, right old pal?

SCOOBY

Reah, reah!

CUE LAUGH TRACK

Shaggy starts to make a hot dog. Typical "mile high" Shaggy/Scooby hot dog.

SHAGGY

(laughing)

A little mustard for color… Some relish, onions, ketchup for texture… Olives for flavor… Sour Kraut for taste… Mayo as a nice joiner… Garlic and celery for aroma… A dash of tabasco sauce to give it kick… And finished! The Mona Lisa of hot dogdom.

SHAGGY (CON'T)

Oh, almost forgot the pickles.

Puts down hot dog and starts to rummage around for the pickles. All throughout this, Scooby has looked on, smacking his lips and making appreciative sounds. As soon as Shaggy's back is turned, he scarfs down the hot dog in one tremendous bite

CUE LAUGH TRACK

Shaggy finds the pickles and turns around only to find his hot dog missing.

SHAGGY

Hey! Where'd my hot dog go?

Scooby shrugs his shoulders.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

LUCY

(laughing)

Come on you two, we've got more stalls to cover.

SHAGGY

Like, hold on a second.

Eats the pickle in hand.

SHAGGY

Better than nothing I guess.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

RESET TO: VENDOR STALL

One of the only vendors left tries to get Lucy's attention.

VENDOR

Hey, Ms. Lawless! I'd heard you'd made it. That's great. Who are your friends?

LUCY

Kids, this is Simon O'Grady. He sells anything and everything related to my show.

LUCY (CON'T)

Simon, this is Shaggy and Scooby.

VENDOR/SIMON

Nice meeting you.

LUCY

Frankly, I'm surprised to see you. Most everyone else has cleared out due to that funky phantom.

SIMON

And that suits me just fine.

SHAGGY

Like, what do you mean?

SIMON

This whole phantom thing has been great for business. With all the other vendors scared away, I have a monopoly on what costumers there are left. I'm making a killing off this!

SHAGGY

(gulps hard)

Like, could you rephrase that?

SCOOBY

(nervously)

Reah!

LUCY

So, all this has actually been _good_ for business?

SIMON

For me anyway.

LUCY

Now that's very interesting… Come on, kids, we'd better make our rounds. Good seeing you, Simon.

SIMON

Always a pleasure, Ms. Lawless.

LUCY

Now that's suspicious…

SHAGGY

Like, yeah. With most of the other sellers scared away by the Phantom, he's got a corner on the market.

LUCY

Exactly.

SHAGGY

Do you think that _he_ could be the Phantom?

LUCY

I don't know, Shaggy, but he's definitely a suspect.

LUCY (CON'T)

Come on, we've got more booths to cover.

SHAGGY

You go ahead. Scoob, and I'll hold down the fort.

LUCY

(amused)

More like the food court. Come on…

She takes a remorseful Shaggy and Scooby by the arm/collar and walks off.

CUT TO:

EXT. CONVENTION CENTER—PARKING LOT—NIGHT

Ted, Renee, and Velma are tracking down clues.

TED

I can't see a thing out here. It's too dark.

RENEE

Who's got the flashlight?

TED

Wait, I think I've got it.

Fumbles around, grabs something.

RENEE

You've got something all right, but it isn't the flashlight…

CUE LAUGH TRACK

TED

(hastily)

Oh, sorry!

VELMA

I've got it.

Snaps on flashlight.

VELMA (CON'T)

Okay, now keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.

Ted sees something off screen.

TED

Uh, define 'suspicious'.

VELMA

You know, something that sticks out.

RENEE

Yeah, Ted. Something that seems out of place.

TED

So, would a glowing white figure with outstretched arms count?

VELMA

Exactly. A glowing white figure with—

Sees Phantom.

VELMA (CON'T)

-out stretched… arms… Jinkies! Run!

TED

Don't have to tell me twice!

RENEE

Wait for me, guys!

CUE LAUGH TRACK

CUT TO MUSICAL MONTAGE:

Patented "Scooby-Doo" chase scene.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—BACKSTAGE AREA-NIGHT

DAPHNE

There doesn't seem to be anything else back here, Fred.

FRED

No, there doesn't. Let's hope the rest of the gang did better.

Fred and Daphne make to leave. In doing so, Daphne trips over something.

DAPHNE

Oh!

FRED

You okay, Daph?

DAPHNE

Yeah. Just tripped over this loose board.

Fred investigates said board.

FRED

Hey! There's something hidden underneath!

DAPHNE

What is it, Fred?

Fred pulls out a harness.

FRED

It looks like a harness vest, the kind stuntmen use. And hey, look at this!

Fred pulls out an elaborate rope and pulley system.

FRED (CON'T)

A rope and pulley system, the kind they use in movies to make it look like someone is flying. And look, there's phosphorus paint on it, just like on the costume we found!

DAPHNE

Golly, we better get in touch with the rest of the gang.

FRED

You said it, Daph! Let's go!

Suddenly, Velma, Ted, and Renee come running in and collide with Fred and Daphne.

In a jumble of bodies, Ted groggily sits up.

TED

We were hoping to run into you guys…

CUE LAUGH TRACK

VELMA

We were being chased by the Phantom.

FRED

Our 'Phantom' is no phantom at all. And I've got an idea how to find out just who it is once and for all.

CUT TO:

CONVENTION CENTER—CONVENTION FLOOR-NIGHT

All the group is together, plus Hiram.

FRED

So, everybody knows what to do, right?

VELMA

Check.

SHAGGY

(laughs)

Like, piece of cake, right, Scoob?

SCOOBY

(smacking lips)

Cake?

CUE LAUGH TRACK

FRED

All right then, gang. Let's do it!

CUT TO:

INT. CONVENTION CENTER—CONVENTION FLOOR—NIGHT

Shaggy and Scooby are standing by themselves, giving a really bad/stilted speech. They are clearly 'acting', and doing a bad job of it.

SHAGGY

Oh—dear,-Scoob. I sure—hope—that creepy old phantom—doesn't come—for—us.

SCOOBY

Me—neither.

Out pops The Phantom, snaring and clawing at the air.

Shaggy and Scooby snap out of their stilted rehearsed speech.

SHAGGY

Like, make tracks, Scoob!

Both Shaggy and Scooby peel out and start running. The Phantom chases after them.

RESET TO: OTHER PART OF CONVENTION FLOOR

Fred and the others are crowded behind a giant cutout of a smiling Xena, trying to keep concealed.

FRED

(whispering)

Here they come. Everybody ready? Remember, when I say 'now', we push this cutout over.

TED

When you say what?

FRED

Now.

TED

Now?

FRED

Now.

TED

If you say so.

He pushes against the cutout, it starts to topple.

DAPHNE

No, not now!

LUCY

Too late! It's going to fall!

VELMA

Oh no, here come Shaggy and Scooby!

The cutout falls on Shaggy and Scooby, who cry out in surprise. Muffled comical cries for help are heard from underneath it.

But in falling, the chakram the cutout held breaks off, and flies through the air cutting the ropes that are holding a giant banner to the ceiling.

VELMA

Oh no!

Just as The Phantom closes in, the giant banner comes falling down to land on, and capture, the 'phantom'.

FRED

We got 'im!

Muffled comical cries for help are heard from Shaggy & Scooby again, who are still trapped underneath the cutout.

Fred and Ted lift the cutout off of Shaggy & Scooby, who are grateful to breathe fresh air again.

SHAGGY

Whew! Like, thanks!

Hiram comes running up with security guards.

HIRAM

You caught the Phantom?!

DAPHNE

We sure did, Mr. Jorkins.

FRED

Now it's time to see who our phony phantom _really_ is.

Fred reaches for phantom's headpiece, and pulls it off to reveal…

LUCY

R.J. Stewart?!

RENEE

R.J.?! But he's one of our show's writers!

TED

Someone mind explaining all this?

VELMA

The first clue was what he'd said to the crowd when he first appeared as the Phantom.

LUCY

You mean when he said that he'd 'get us'?

VELMA

Exactly. Our next clue was when we found that script with your lines crossed out, and learned that J.R. had a grudge against you and the show.

VELMA (CON'T)

Then when we found your itinerary, it could only have been lost by someone who knew you personally or professionally—which R.J. does.

LUCY

So, he knew that I'd be here. But why dress up as a phantom to scare all the convention goers off?

R.J. STEWART

To ruin you, that's why! If I frightened off the fans, then the organizers wouldn't be so keen on having you; and in doing that, you'd get less exposure, which would mean lower ratings. And that would lead to that accursed show of yours being taken off the air!

RENEE

I don't get it. We've had our disagreements, but why would you want to see the show go under?

R.J. STEWART

Because _I_ should be the one calling the shots! _I_ understand these characters better than anyone else! I alone know how Xena and Gabrielle should be portrayed! You and your stupid 'action adventure' fluff! The show should be racy! Edgy! Shameless!

TED

I think we've already got that last one down pat…

CUE LAUGH TRACK

SHAGGY

But, there's, like, one thing I still don't get. How'd he pass through walls & fly around?

FRED

That's the easiest part, Shaggy. Remember that Data Card you and Mr. Raimi found?

SHAGGY

Yeah.

FRED

Well, watch when we put it in a digital projector.

Hits switch of nearby projector, and up pops a snarling and growling 'Phantom'.

SHAGGY/SCOOBY

Yahhhhh!

Scooby jumps into Shaggy's arms.

CUE LAUGH TRACK

FRED

Voila! Instant phantom!

HIRAM

But what about the first time we saw him fly? That seemed real enough!

FRED

That's because it was, Mr. Jorkins. You see, R.J. had gotten a hold of an elaborate rope and pulley system which he attached to the convention center's rafters and used to make people think he was flying.

FRED (CON'T)

I suspect if you were to search his car, you'd find traces of paint in it, caused by the spare 'phantom' suit he kept there.

VELMA

Thereby explaining how he chased Mr. Rami, Ms. O'Connor, and myself in the parking lot-even while we had one of his costumes.

DAPHNE

Jeepers. That was sure one heck of a plan.

R. J. STEWART

And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

The security guards take R.J. away.

HIRAM

Thanks, kids! I don't know how to ever thank you!

SHAGGY

Just point us in the direction of the nearest concession stand. Right, Scoob?

SCOOBY

Reah, reah!

LUCY

(laughing)

I've got a better idea. How about guest spots on my show as extras?

DAPHNE

That sounds groovy!

FRED

Yeah, that'd be out of sight!

VELMA

Thanks, Ms. Lawless!

LUCY

It's the least I could do for all your help.

TED

What do you all say we get this show on the road? Hey, where's Scooby?

VELMA

That hot dog? Now that he's going to be on the show, he's practicing.

Cue Scooby dressed up in Xena costume, with wig and chakram.

Starts running, yelling Xena's war cry. Comes up on, and slips on, a soft drink cup. His "Yi, yi, yi!" turns into a startled yelp as he does a somersault in mid air, dropping the chakram in the process.

He comes down hard in a heap with such impact that it throws the costume and accessories right off him, revealing his normal self.

The group laughs, and Scooby gets up slightly chagrinned for a moment, before he too starts to laugh.

SCOOBY

Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

FADE OUT:

END OF EPISODE


End file.
